The ramblings of aspiring author, Madeleine Sara, her dreams to become published and her trials and tribulations along the way. Plus other writerly nuggets of wisdom!
Apologies for my typos, I get very cold hands with Raynauds and sometimes there's a persistent kittie on my lap, nudging my hand as I type.
I've been creative writing all my life, though with various haitus(es) along the way. IFrom 2010 I started this blog and enjoyed sharing writing and other information with everyone. illness and bereavement supplied the more recent hiatus.
It occurred to me that one way to help our fellow blog authors is to buy a hard copy of their book and keeping it in pristine condition, once you've read it, donate it to your local library. That way their writing will achieve greater exposure.
On behalf of the editors at The Lascaux Review, welcome to the first annual Lascaux Flash Fiction Contest!
The Rules: Using the photo prompt below, compose a work of short fiction, maximum length 250 words. The prompt is for inspiration only; entries will not be judged on how well they relate to it. Title is not included in the word count.
Instead of writing a Poem or a 400 word Flash Fiction piece this week, I decided to set myself the challenge of writing the same opening to my Romantic Picnic scene as different POV examples. I thank the lovely Adurafor the idea.
I hope I have successfully achieved each example.Let me know what you think?
FIRST PERSON POV - The narrator is 'I' or 'we.'
I bumped into Jasmine at the corner of the street. It was a sunny morning and promised to be a gloriously sunny, summers day. As my eyes took in her gorgeous caramel skin and sleek, black hair, fluttery signals chased around my heart to my stomach and back.
“We could go on a picnic!” I laughed, hoping my voice didn’t betray the nervousness I felt. “Just the two of us…” I trailed off.
Jasmine held my gaze with her deep, dark eyes. “I’d love that, Miles” she beamed.
SECOND PERSON POV -The narrator addresses 'You' the readereffectively turning the reader into the character.
You know how it is. You see Jasmine, the girl of your dreams, at the corner of the street and your heart chases signals to your stomach and back, just looking at her gorgeous caramel skin and sleek black hair.
Since it’s a bright morning and you know it will be a gloriously sunny, summers day you suggest going on a picnic. You hope your voice won’t crack with nervousness. As she looks back at you with her deep, dark eyes your voice kinda trails off when you suggest that it’ll be just the two of you.
You can’t quite believe your ears when she replies “I’d love that, Miles” and beams right at you.
THIRD PERSON POV Controlled Consciousness/ selective singular - uses Third Person POV with the familiarity of First Person. The reader sees all the action through the eyes of a single character and can only see what that character sees. The difference is the narrator uses 'he' or 'she' instead of 'I' or 'we'. Narration from a single perspective.
Miles bumped into Jasmine at the corner of the street. It was a sunny morning and promised to be a gloriously sunny, summers day. As his eyes took in Jasmine’s gorgeous caramel skin and sleek, black hair, fluttery signals chased around his heart to his stomach and back.
“We could go on a picnic!” he laughed, hoping his voice didn’t betray the nervousness he felt. “Just the two of us…” he trailed off.
Miles stood transfixed as Jasmine held his gaze with her deep, dark eyes. “I’d love that, Miles” she beamed.
THIRD PERSON POV Panoramic/detached/Subjective Multiple Viewpoint - The narrator again using 'she/he' sees all the action, but doesn't read minds.
It was a bright morning and promised to be a gloriously sunny summers day when Miles bumped into Jasmine on the corner of the street. They smiled. Each observing the other closely. His gaze checked out her gorgeous, caramel skin and sleek black hair, while she ran her eyes over his tousled dark- blonde mop and tanned complexion.
Miles spoke first with a nervous smile “We could go on a picnic! Just the two of us…” his voice trailing off.
Jasmine’s deep, dark eyes held Miles’ gaze. “I’d love that, Miles” she beamed.
THIRD PERSON OMNISCIENT - God-like; the narrator uses 's/he' and knows/sees everything and is able to move from one mind to another.
It was a bright morning and promised to be a gloriously sunny, summers day when Miles bumped into Jasmine on the corner of the street. As Miles’ eyes took in Jasmine’s gorgeous caramel skin and sleek, black hair, fluttery signals chased around his heart to his stomach and back. He wondered if he had the courage to ask her out this time. he didn't want to blow the opportunituy. Jasmine, meanwhile, was admiring Miles' tousled dark- blonde mop and tanned complexion, feeling a strange euphoria, though her mouth had become very dry. She was hoping, with all her heart, that he might ask her out, instead of just the usual 'Hi how are you?' Would they kiss, she dared wonder with the kind of effervescence that sent bubbles of excitement into her gleaming eyes.
“We could go on a picnic! Just the two of us…” Miles said, his voice trailing off.
Jasmine held Miles’ gaze with her deep, dark eyes. “I’d love that, Miles” she beamed.
Which of these POVs do you like?
Did you feel the love in all these styles of POV or just some of them? Which set the right mood for you?
A writer can have more than one viewpoint character in a novel. The viewpoint character sh
ould change only at chapter or scene breaks and there should be a good reason for the change. The different third person viewpoints can be difficult to get your head around, probably because they are all the same but different! Remember that "head-hopping" confuses and irritates the reader. Take a look at some well loved novels in the genre in which you are planning to write and familiarize yourself with the different Points Of View used. Are there any variations? Now write the scene using that POV.
ON A PERSONAL NOTE: It appears I've had a tooth infection beneath my recently crowned tooth since about 11th July! I wondered why I felt generally grotty/run down and dreaded returning to the dentist because my tooth throbbed when I chewed on it. Now I have a course of antibiotics and after a just few I am already feeling much better.
RFW said: Madeleine: treated us to a lesson in perspectives;
writing out the same scenario from differing POV. Interesting; all the
different ways to ask a person on a picnic, and all the emotions and
possibilities from just a subtle change.
You get to choose the POVand have free reign within the chosen title, but remember to follow the submission/challenge guidelines to ensure you're in with a chance of being chosen for any coveted RFW awards.
Of course things between your hero and heroine could turn sour, that's up to you. You can even write from the hero's viewpoint if you wish.
Just have fun with it.Add a dash of humour? Play with the food? Let yourself go...
Use it as a great practice piece for Flash Fiction or Poetry or even a collection of haiku.
Just sign up to the linky on the Thursday before submission date and have a blast! If you miss this particular challenge, guidelines for future challenges can be found HERE.
This fun Blogfest is running from 15th - 17th Aug to Friday this week. Our mission, if we chose to accept it, was to pick a classic fairytale and tweak it by altering "one detail, one event, one character trait, one thought". There are four categories: Plot Twists, Love Stories, Comic Relief and Tragedy. Participants are to think of a well known fairytale and ask "what if…" From there, they must write a 300 word (max) Flash Fiction illustrating this new detail of the fairytale that changes everything.
Cinderella’s stepmother, whom she referred to as the witch, together with her two obnoxious step-sisters, had left her doing laundry when the Prince’s Valet arrived with the glass slipper. She had followed at a safe distance, watching as the three women heaved themselves into the ample chairs like three lumpy mattresses. Cinderella saw them take off their shoes in preparation for trying on the glass slipper, knowing for certain, that there was no way any of them could fit into that delicate item of footwear.
When the Valet bent down to fit the shoe to her stepmother’s large, gnarly feet, he bobbed up again quickly, taking out his ‘kerchief and blowing his nose.
“It must be a slight fit of the snuffles, Madam.” He said, his eyes watering as he held the kerchief firmly to his nose. He shook his head. “I’m afraid Madam, it doesn’t fit you”.
He cast his eyes over the sisters’ feet, with a grim expression. Trying the slipper against Edwina’s foot, the Valet shook his head again. Cinderella knew that, if she had been able, her stepmother would have done anything in her power to secure the Prince’s hand-in-marriage for one of her own repulsive daughters. She smirked, imagining how the witch would react when she claimed the glass slipper herself and married her beloved Prince.
A loud sneeze momentarily drew everyone’s attention away from the slipper.
“It must be catching” her stepmother snuffled, winking at her eldest daughter, Perpetua.
Cinderella’s smile died on her face as the awful truth hit her. The glass slipper had transformed in size, so that it now fitted her eldest step-sister’s foot, perfectly.
The Valet’s features quickly changed from horrified to blank subservience.
“Lady Perpetua” he bowed. “The Prince will be delighted that we have finally found his betrothed.”
Could this have a tragic ending... Can Cinders win back her Prince before his wedding to evil step sister, Perpetua?
Sorry everyone my Genre Blogfest entry posted up too early, so I have rescheduled it for 17th Sept. Thanks to those who commented.
Game On Synopsis: After swapping her small town life to work for one of the top soccer teams in the U.S, Leah Walker thought she could finally leave the ghosts of her past behind. However, when she meets serial womanizer, Radleigh McCoy, the memories of her old life come swarming back, and she is forced to ask herself whether she has really changed at all.
This week's Romantic Friday Writer's Challenge This is a first-person challenge. You are sick of your life! You feel the need to break out of the box! You are doing what you want for a change! Yes! You're taking that break you've been promising yourself - you're heading for a tropical island paradise to:
- finish that project you've been working on
- just do nothing but sunbake, eat, party
- think about your relationship (does that need to change too?)
Perhaps your love may surprise you with a welcome or unwelcome visit to enhance/spoil your island idyll...
Perhaps your love decides to move on while you're gone...
Perhaps you miss your love so much that you hurry home before your time...this could be exhilarating...or tragic...Your story, your way! Surprise us!
Here's my Romance Flash Fiction entry
Something's Brewing! by Madeleine Maddocks
I was putting the cups away in the bottom cupboard when I sensed him at the counter behind me. It wasn’t his usual day for coffee and a chocolate twist and I could feel the tiny hairs on my arm tingle with anticipation. I looked forward every week to his friendly banter. As I stood up, I composed myself, pushing strands of my long, chestnut hair out of my eyes before turning round to greet him with my best smile. He, on the other hand was studiously eyeing the menu board above my head, even though I knew his order off-by-heart, as well as I knew his every detail. Those delicious coffee mocha eyes, his rich espresso hair and those gorgeous, raspberry-almond lips. “So do you fancy something different?” I asked tentatively, noticing how preoccupied and quiet he seemed. I certainly need a change, I thought wistfully. At least tonight, a Thursday night, my shift always finished at four instead of five o’clock. I thought of my rubbish boyfriend, who would rather spend his weekends with his head stuck under a car bonnet than with me. Companionship wasn’t on the agenda. Sex yes, so long as it was quick. Oh yes I so needed a change! He'd have to go. “A medium latte and a…” my gorgeous customer began, as I automatically took the chocolate twist out of the cabinet with the tongs. “…chocolate twist to go.” his voice trailed off as he saw me anticipate his words. “Oh you’re not staying today, then?” I said, hearing the forced jollity in my tone that hid my disappointment and embarrassment. “Nope, I wouldn’t want to be too predictable” he chuckled, handing me his credit card. I could feel my face burn as if Satan himself were standing beside me. I completed the transaction in silence, wishing the floor could open up and swallow me whole. “So you finish at four tonight, I believe?” His dazzling smile made his gorgeous eyes sparkle. I nodded dumbly, putting his latte and pastry in a bag and handing him his order. “I wondered if you’d like to join me for dinner tonight…” I could feel the skin tingling all over my body, as my heart bubbled with joy. “…That is unless you have someone…” he said holding my gaze. “That would be lovely. I’ll just need to go home, so that I can change” I replied.
I am delighted that Lynda Young will be interviewing me on 16th August on her blog WIP It.
I also have 3 reviews up, so far, on Amazon.com Yay!
RFW said: Madeleine delivered a perfectly structured flash
fiction prose piece which was lovely and romantic. I loved the comparisons of
the delightful customer to coffee - 'Those delicious coffee mocha eyes".
Obviously getting rid of the old boyfriend was part of the change. Something is