L'Aussie Writing and Francine at Romancing The Blog provide a story, poem or an excerpt up to 400 words on a chosen theme each week.
This week's theme for Romantic Friday Writers: Lies, Lies, Lies
This week's theme for Romantic Friday Writers: Lies, Lies, Lies
This theme didn't exactly put me in a romantic mood, but the scene below kept playing about in my head and had to be written. It's certainly full of angst and heartbreak... Oh and since lies is repeated 3 times in the title theme, I put in 3 lies. Can you spot them?
Intoxicating Lies by Madeleine Maddocks
Even though Jennie should have been expecting it, the blow came out of nowhere. The familiar sensation flared through her cheekbone, which now resembled a hot boulder. She’d clutched the kitchen counter to brace her fall.
“Bitch!” her husband’s hot, toxic breath was inches from her face like happy hour at the local nightclub.
She tried not to wrinkle her nose in disgust or he’d hit her again. She tried to remember the love she had once felt for him. The happy times in their three years of marriage. For the way she used to feel when they were together. A void of emotion yawned in answer.
“I saw how you looked at him”
Him was the postman. The kind, handsome Jack, whose smile warmed her aching heart.
“He wouldn’t want you. Nobody would. That’s why I’m stuck with you.” Her husband’s breathy venom curled its way through her nose and into her soul.
She averted her eyes to avoid provoking him further. Her gaze picked out the brown blood stain on the lino; a Christmas present, when the police and the ambulance had been called.
“I’m sorry” he’d sobbed in the hospital, his eyes darting about madly like some cornered animal. “I’ll never do it again, Jenn, I promise.”
“And the drinking?” she’d asked, her voice barely a whisper, her body bandaged and throbbing.
“I’m done with the drinking too. I’ll go now. I love you Jenn”
“Me too” Of course it was all lies. How could she love him? How could he love her?
“You won’t ever leave me will you Jenn?” was his parting plea.
“No, of course not” she’d lied.
She watched his bulky frame stagger out of the kitchen as he muttered under his fetid breath. Soon she could hear his snoring coming from the living room and her heart leapt with excited apprehension. She hurried stealthily. Climbing the step-stool she grabbed her most valuable documents from their hiding place: her passport, driver’s licence and Building Society pass book.
Then she stopped again to listen, as though her ears were on stalks. Still snoring. She rushed to the broken chest freezer and pulled out a packed rucksack. Stepping through the back door she hurried into the garden. Liberating her mobile phone from under the shed she climbed the fence.
“Jack” she said, as her phone call was answered, "I’m on my way”. (397 words)
An emotional piece, Madeleine, well done.ReplyDelete
Hi Madeleine .. sadly so often so true .. it's a cruel world .. but can have happy endings - for some they will.ReplyDelete
Enjoy your few days .. and I hope you're feeling better .. cheers Hilary
This was awesome; totally realistic. Except, I'd expect there to be a kid involved in her escape.ReplyDelete
I like the "I'll never hit you again" lie from him and the "I'll love you forevr lie from her." Absolutely believable.
Wonderful writing, Madeleine - I love this line, 'A void of emotion yawned in answer.'ReplyDelete
So glad she found her strength and didn't remain the victim.
Enjoy your break.
Nice writing, Madeleine. I hope you have a wonderful break> I'll be looking forward to your coming back and posting!ReplyDelete
Considering this weeks theme, I think your piece oozed romance. Love lost. New love found. Perfect!ReplyDelete
Hello Madeleine, you had me hooked right from the start.ReplyDelete
There are too many men like the husband. Good for her being brave enough to leave him.
Enjoy your break!
Just quickly popped in to say Thank you everyone, before i take the blog break.ReplyDelete
Ellie, I am glad you felt the love and romance through the pain.
Margo, thanks. I love stories that show strength and triumph over adversity.
Alas, Donna, not everyone can have children.
Hilary, yes I have been amazing myself with the normal things I once more can do. The sunshine helps of course! :O)
Good for Jennie and Jack!!!ReplyDelete
Another wonderful story, Madeleine, thank you! Enjoy your blog break and see you soon! take care
I was pulling for her to leave from the beginning. Nice job and enjoy your break!ReplyDelete
I loved the post, the ending was a surprise twist, Madeleine. Enjoy your break.ReplyDelete
Wow. That was very powerful!ReplyDelete
Enjoy your blog break. :)
Love can slip away so easily without violence, how much more so with it. I loved the line, 'a void of emotion yawned in answer.' Great job.ReplyDelete
N. R. Williams, The Treasures of Carmelidrium
That was a good story a little hard to read because of what it was about, but I felt her pain and anguish and the other emotions. Great job.ReplyDelete
Well done, Madeleine, for writing a wonderful scenario in which the heroine truly gets her own back by walking out. Nice twist at the end and love on the horizon!
Hope you're feeling heaps better, and have a great break. ;)
The tension was palpable - you packed a lot of hook into 400 words! Excellently done!ReplyDelete
Very real, very visceral. I bought it completely. The furtive escape was tension-filled and spot on. Great job.ReplyDelete
Edge of Your Seat Romance
Now you have me singing that Lies, Lies, Lies song by the Thompson Twins.ReplyDelete
What a wonderful story. I really enjoyed reading it. Enjoy your break.
So glad she broke free from the circle of lies and violence. I have a friend who suffered years of this before she finally plucked up the courage to break free.ReplyDelete
Very real and tragic but hopefully a happy ending for her. She deserves a better man, she deserves a better life.ReplyDelete
Enjoy your break ~
An interesting piece. Jennie was lying to her husband but I sympathize with her. She had no other choice. I hope Jack gives her a better future.ReplyDelete
The husband certainly deserves nothing less for what he's done to her. And she certainly deserves the happiness she's decided to go after.ReplyDelete
The description of his breath made me go "ugggh" and want to choke. Really good description - but so sad 'cause this is what a lot of people go through.ReplyDelete
Glad when he said he wouldn't do it again, he was speaking the truth - even though it was only because he wouldn't get the chance.ReplyDelete