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Friday, 7 October 2011

Rock Candy ~ RFW


ROMANTIC FRIDAY WRITERS
Based on the given theme we can post up snippets from novels, ongoing WIPs, a piece of bespoke flash-ficton or poetry. Maximum word count is 400.
Here's my FLASH FICTION PIECE at 400 words (MPA)

Rocky Candy by Madeleine Maddocks
Jody glanced at James as he ambled on in front of her. She’d imagined them walking hand-in-hand along the beach on their first date. Then he’d enthusiastically suggested a walk on Dartmoor. She hadn’t had the heart to say no. At least they would be alone together. The thought thrilled her as she watched him check the weather forecast. She’d waved her mobile phone at him. “I’ve got this in case of emergencies”
“Great! Though we can’t rely on a good reception everywhere up there” He returned to the task of packing their rucksacks with lunches, torches, maps, compass, water, candy, dried fruit, nuts, first aid kit, whistle, waterproofs. The list seemed endless.

She’d come wearing jeans, denim trainers and a cute little crop-top that accentuated her womanly endowments. He’d responded with an appreciative smile, his raised eyebrows turning into what quickly became a frown. His warm, brown eyes filled with concern.
“You’ll have to change.” he said. “My mother is your size. You can borrow her walking boots and water resistant trousers.”
“Oh, okay” Jody replied feeling slightly deflated, but seeing the determination in his chiselled features. He swept a hand through his glossy brown hair and left her to change.

Now up on Dartmoor the sun rained down on them and she wished she was wearing that crop top, instead of T- shirt and weatherproofs. She was sure her cheeks were flushed crimson and she felt hot and thirsty.
“You’re doing great!” he smiled, taking her hand in his. “I love it up here. I’m so glad I could share it with you.”
She smiled back feeling a rush of excitement and her heart beat drummed its own countdown for their first kiss, but instead they walked on.
“Up there” James pointed to a huge rock surrounded by grass “I want to show you something.”
He found the lowest edge and helped her climb up. When they reached the summit the view was glorious and she felt a renewed energy as the fresh air and quiet calm of those amazing surroundings caught her breath. With glinting eyes she smiled at him “It’s fabulous!”
They shared a bottle of water drinking appreciatively.
 “Let’s have lunch up here” she said.  
“Great idea” he replied breathily, moving in closer until their lips met. The kiss was as deliciously sweet as rock candy and her heart beat drummed a crescendo of emotion.


17 comments:

  1. Well I'm totally swept away by this gorgeous story! Yay! Well done you! Take care
    x

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  2. Awwww. That's adorable. I love that she was trying to be cute and sexy for their date and he is so oblivious.

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  3. Oh that's lovely! It brings back a memory of a first date of mine, when I was dressed inapropriately - I still wince at the memory! Great take on the theme.

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  4. Madeleine..I was transported by this story. Its wonderful.

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  5. Lovely suspense until you get the first kiss – you wonder when or it it’s going to happen!

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  6. Hi Madeleine .. I just thought something horrid was going to happen! Loved the story though and the happy ending ..

    Have a good weekend .. Hilary

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  7. I can picture this and loved the photo of the rock at the end. First love is full of doubt and tension. You captured it well.
    Nancy
    N. R. Williams, Fantasy Author

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  8. I had my doubts about James... "You can wear my mother's clothes" is not the kind of thing that melts a woman's heart - at least, not mine. Then he took her hand, and opened up about this place that was so special to him, and they shared such a sweet kiss - okay, he's winning me over. :-)

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  9. Madeleine,
    Your story of young and budding love was enjoyable to read.

    It was interesting to note the distinct personalities: Jody wanting to impress with her choice of clothing, and silently willing to compromise; James making choices without consultation.

    Thank you for visiting my site during my blog tour and offering your comments. If you use Smashwords, I would like to send you a coupon for a free download of my novel. Please email your contact information to me at gbaugniet at aol dot com.

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  10. Oh, this brings back a memory that I thought was long gone :-)
    I think this was so sweet and romantic :-)

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  11. Suspense and romance. Nicely done. I tried to put these elements into my book. Of course, she tries to kill the MC. But hey, that's suspense. Just not the kind he expected hahaha.

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  12. Awwww, indeed. "Sweet as rock candy" =]

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  13. Hi,

    Sorry, late getting round to yours this week.

    So man to be all kitted out and expect a girl to don unsexy clothes. Ha ha, but he came through in the end! Nice touch after clambering to the heights of ruddy Dartmoor. He's not special forces by any chance: know what they're like, all too well. ;)

    best
    F

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  14. Dear Madeleine,
    Very nice story.
    It wasn't what she expected, but life never is. If he feels that she is important enough to him for her to see this place that means so much to him, maybe he's alright.

    You have described her internal conflicts as well as the changing scenery of the real date so well.

    And she got a kiss at the end!

    Best wishes,
    Anna
    Anna's RFWers' Challenge No. 22-'Rock Candy'

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  15. Aww...that was nice and very romantic. :-)

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  16. Aaaah....That was amazing :) :) Romantic and as sweet as a candy

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  17. Thank you everyone. Glad you liked it, though I'm not sure my 'serious hector' of a hero was everyone's cup of tea. LOL!

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