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Sunday, 11 September 2011

Lunch Date ~ Belated RFW entry

RFW Challenge No 18 Lunch Date  


An excerpt from my WIP. By Madeleine Maddocks

She recalled edging through the throng of people towards what seemed like the only available table and had found herself being jostled. “Oh, I’m sorry” Caroline had apologised. “I was going to sit here.”
“I’m sorry, so was I” he’d laughed apologetically looking every bit the amiable, gentle giant, but failing to conceal his disappointment.
Commanding , smartly dressed and somewhere around 6ft 3” had been her instant impression of him. It was always gratifying for her to be seen with taller men, it didn’t make her look so unusual, so freakish. “Could we share?” she said watching his brown eyes scan the restaurant for signs of any other vacant tables, yet seeing none he’d turned back to look at her and his stomach gurgled impatiently, embarrassment crumpling his face into an apologetic grimace.
“I think that’s settled then” she’d resolved with a friendly laugh and gestured her hand towards the seat in front of her. “I’m Caroline.” Tantalising aromas of fresh ground coffee, warmed croissants and full English breakfasts had also aroused her appetite.
“And I’m Bernard” he’d replied, his smile as utterly disarming as his physique was captivating.
She noticed him quickly avert his gaze from her snugly fitting jumper as she shrugged off her black, cashmere coat. A smile of secret pleasure had spread across her face and she raised a teasing eyebrow. “The strong brave bear” she mused as she placed her coat over the only other available chair at their table. She sat down, the vibration travelling along the metal tubular legs of the chair so that they wobbled like a percussion instrument. Bernard threw his coat over hers and sat opposite. “Sorry?” he responded, his eyebrows pinched together in puzzled curiosity at her obscure remark.
 “Bernard, it means strong, brave bear. Sorry it’s a hobby of mine. I love to see whether people’s given names actually match their personalities!” she said, finding comfort in the gabble of words that spilled from her mouth, distracting her from dwelling on her rumpled composure.
“OK then, so what does Caroline mean?” Bernard challenged, rubbing his forehead as though massaging away a headache.
Caroline recalled laughing heartily at this question. “Most say manly!” she grimaced. “But one gave ‘Little and womanly’, which I prefer though it doesn’t quite match this 6ft reality does it?”
A bubble of laughter had caught Bernard off guard “No-one could accuse you of being manly or little, but as for womanly…” he’d let the words hang in the air.  
MPA (416 words)


Wow I have been awarded Featured Writer yet again! Thank you so much!

17 comments:

  1. Ooh, I like how he left the words hanging in the air!

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  2. Snappy and quick to draw me in. Well done!

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  3. Ooooh!!!! I want to name someone Bernard now!! Yay for this very hot sexy story!! Take care
    x

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  4. Very elegant, Madeleine! Well done!

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  5. Why don't I ever get to share the last table in a restaurant with a tall handsome stranger?

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  6. Ha ha. I'm so glad you posted Madeleine! This was really bouncy and cute. Being tall hasn't hurt Caroline's confidence any. Look out Bernard I say. She's got your number.

    Denise

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  7. I opened up the linky and added you using my email. D

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  8. Dear Madeleine,
    Thank you for your thoughtful comments about my 'Lunch Date'-texts. So far, you are the only one who worries about the same problem that I do: if it is only a love-potion, will it last? Anyone who has seen the Harry Potter-film in which a girl (was her name Romilda Vane?) sends Harry a box of chocolates laced with a heavy love-potion and the always-hungry-Ron Weasley devours them and almost dies of the cure, knows that it is not real love.

    I agree with you, I think my character, Sanna, is in danger of being hurt, unless her amateur-witch-friend, Carina, has given her the wrong bag of powder. Maybe it was only oregano, and not a real love-potion. Carina sends desperate text-messages on her cell-phone to warn Sanna and to apologise for the mix-up.

    I know one thing. I am not writing about Sanna and Tomas next week. I'll give them some time to sort things out, and write about other characters for 'Bouquet'.

    And now to your 'Lunch Date'-text: I like it. I like that fate (and not black magic) forces them to sit at the same table. Bernard seems to have a sense of humour. Not everyone like to be told by a stranger something about his or her name or anything else that is personal. His response to her comments shows that he is taking it the right way.

    Well done.
    Best wishes,
    Anna
    For the benefit of other readers:
    Anna's RFW No. 18 'Lunch Date'

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  9. Hi Madeleine .. love your lunch date - the descriptions are perfect ..

    Have a good week - Hilary

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  10. Hi,

    Lovely scene setting and nice Rom-Com feel to this piece. It gives the impression it could go far as a Rom-Com novella. ;)

    best
    F

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  11. I like that, the great bear. And I suppose it does make a tall woman feel good to be seen with a tall man. Of course I like tall men and I'm tiny. :)

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  12. He is a charmer, isn't he? Your entry might be late but it still made me smile. It's a nice was to snag an impromptu lunch date.

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  13. Sucks to be a woman and your name means "manly"! It's a nice "ice-breaker", though, for your characters to use as the start of a conversation :-)

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  14. Thanks everyone, glad you enjoyed it. I feel as though I've fallen back in love with the story again now, having lost my mojo, so thatnks for your enthusiasm and encouragement.

    LOL! Sarah, yes I would agree with that.

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  15. I'd love to read more. Bernard and Caroline are gems. ~MsQ

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  16. Hey Madeleine! You'll have to find a way to show that you're the Featured Writer again! Boy, aren't you pleased you posted!

    Denise

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