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Friday, 3 June 2011

Romantic Friday Writers ~ I remember

This week's theme for
Romantic Friday Writers



At 387 words my entry is within the stipulated 400 word max limit and fits the theme. However, because it is taken from my WIP, it's not in 1st person POV.



Do you enjoy touching scenes in your daily dose of fiction?



25 comments:

  1. Hi,

    Oooh, lovely. So sad, and yes this depth of emotion is what I expect from a novel, (novella, whatever) and it can really pull on a reader. I have a similar episode at the start of a romantic suspense novel: second-time around romance. People who read it claimed they cried at the beginning and cried at the end, when the heroine found happiness again.

    Nice snippit! ;)

    best
    F

    BTW: if you haven't noticed Denise has put up the linky!

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  2. Hi Madeleine .. beautifully written and brought a tear to my eye .. particularly written in conjunction with my post today .. hope you can drop in - you'll see why.

    I love Amy's comment at the end .. kids are amazing ..

    You write so well ... and I know you'll have much success with your penmanship .. cheers for now .. Hilary

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  3. Madeleine, this is so beautiful - I have tears in my eyes. Jack is sensitively written and I can feel all the love he has to give. A stunning piece. I would love to read more of this.

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  4. Hello Madeleine.

    I know men are supposed to be all manly and not cry...but I'm not ashamed to shed a tear ot two:-)

    Here is Jack, trying to be the strong and brave one and then there's little Amy understanding his sadness & comforting him, as children so often do.

    This story just brought tears to my eyes. It was the ending that pushed me over the edge.

    Absolutely lovely!

    Thank you.

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  5. Awwwwww how lovely!! I felt such raw pain and sorrow reading this - thank you for sharing!! Take care
    x

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  6. Good morning, my dear Madeleine!

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  7. Fabulous line. His adams apple was like a boulder against a crashing sea. Great job.
    Nancy
    N. R. Williams, The Treasures of Carmelidrium

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  8. Hi Madeleine..a lovely piece. Great job!

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  9. I like this a lot.

    What might give this a little more edge is if we see in Jack's thoughts that he is trying to "hold it together" for the children, which would make his daughter's remark more poignant.

    Also, I'm not quite seeing the "military thing" - he's not ordering them to put everything in its place, checking a watch to make sure things happen on time, etc. Where it seems like he is, is floundering - maybe he is asking himself, what would Claire do? Oh, she'd send the kids to bath and then bed.

    Good writing though.

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  10. This is lovely Madeleine - really touching. Bodes well for your WIP, and looking forward to seeing more :-)

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  11. Made me think of my sister & her girls. Maybe because I was thinking about my brother-in-law today. Poignant. Thanks for sharing.

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  12. This is lovely. Touching scenes are always hard to write but I love reading them :)

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  13. This is lovely. Looking forward to reading more sometime.

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  14. So sad! And very sweet scene. I do enjoy touching scenes . . .but I struggle writing them. :)

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  15. My lip quirked a bit at the military operation which was his way of coping with the children. This is so sad and I'll be intrigued at how it fits in the big picture of your story.

    Thanks for giving us another wonderful extract for Romantic Friday Writers.

    Denise<3

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  16. Okay. My heart did not remain unmoved. Poor guy! His grief was palpable, well done, Madeleine, with just a pinch of humor.

    ~MsQ

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  17. I do love a touching, emotionally charged scene - when its appropriate. This one seemed appropriate. Not overly mushy, but the sorrow and loss, and sense of barely holding on is quite clear.

    Well done.

    ........dhole

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  18. Madeleine, this is beautiful and very touching. If it's from your wip, then it will be a wonderful work. I love the little arm going around him at the end.

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  19. Nicely done; sad, but good. On a lighter note, I like the name "Jack Sinclair" -- reminds me of a hard-boiled detective type.

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  20. Yes, I definitely like touching scenes. That moment of comfort from his daughter was a nice touch. Amazing the amount of information we can convey in so few words. clearly, he was in love with his wife and feels the loss keenly still.

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  21. Nicely done. I love touching scenes. Everyone needs a good cry now and then.

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  22. So emotional and heart felt. It's nice to see the true feelings of a man finally break through as the "tough guy" images fades away.

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  23. Nice job. I'm really bad a t "touching." :)

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  24. Oh, so sad and heart-wrenching. Beautifully done, Madeleine.

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  25. Great job on this very sad but well done.

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