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My Blog SCRIBBLE AND EDIT reflects my love of creative writing, design, literature and film. Check out my Poems & haiku, Romantic Flash Fiction; Blogfest Entries; Blog Awards and other prose and Flash Fiction. Do bear with me, as I will reciprocate with those genuine commenters on my blog.  BTW I sometimes withhold comments for challenges until later. Comments about the post are much appreciated. Thank you.
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Friday, 24 June 2011

Love Hurts ~ Romantic Friday Writers


Every week a group of us, brought together by the awesome talents of Denise at L'Aussie Writing and Francine at Romancing The Blog provide a story, poem or an excerpt up to 400 words on a chosen theme.

This week's theme for Romantic Friday Writers:
Love Hurts
which fits in with Tessa's Blurb Blogfest


Serial Seducer by Madeleine Maddocks

Sadie stood looking at Ben across the office space.  The unanswered text messages had been her first clue.  Before then Ben had only been interested in what she enjoyed; the long walks, the costume dramas. It was always her voice he'd focused on and her face he found in the crowd.


She had blossomed from a shy, closed bud into a full, confident, blooming flower, but while she allowed others to admire her nectar, she would only allow Ben, alone, to drink it. Their love making had made her so hungry, trembling with desire like an addict desperate for her next fix. She felt special, cherished, adored. Her heart had swelled with love for him.


“Oh sorry, I was driving. I couldn’t answer.” Ben had smiled before returning to something more important on his computer screen.
Sadie knew he couldn’t have been driving all day. Lately he'd started making a lot of excuses. There was a time when he would pull into a parking bay and text her immediately. He'd certainly had time to reply when he got to his destination.


Elaine’s laugh ripped through her thoughts as if her very heart had been torn out. Now Ben's glorious waterfall-blue eyes were focused on Elaine’s in the same way they had once been on her own. His beaming smile now shone down on Elaine's face, illuminating her from within like its own sun; no doubt making her feel like the centre of the universe, as he had once done for her. 


She watched him return to his desk.


 “I’ve got to go to the computing department for a meeting. No coffee today, sorry” he grimaced, as he grabbed his coat and slunk off, following Elaine.

 
Moments later Angela Bennett, Head of Department, passed by her desk. “Sadie, can you tell Ben I’ll see him in my office this afternoon? I’m just off to computing for a meeting”.

Sadie nodded dumbly. Ben's clothes had begun to smell strongly of cigarettes. His interests had changed. Elaine, who watched horror films and liked to go speed-car racing (Ben's latest passions) was a smoker. 


When Ben returned to the office later that morning, Sadie looked up from her work, smiling thinly. “I didn’t know Angela Bennett was a smoker” she said, hatred dripping from her lips. “Isn’t that what 'going to computing for a meeting' is code-word for these days?”


His blush flooded from his cheeks into his neck in reply.   (407 words)


Post Script: I'm delighted to say that I've been awarded the Romantic Friday Writers
Featured Writer badge this week! YAY! Thank you.

34 comments:

  1. Smoking should be banned cos it's very bad for one's health!! :-)

    Silly Ben!!!

    Take care
    x

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  2. Moral of the story - avoid office romances. :)

    Nice story. I really liked the phrase "Elaine's laugh ripped through her thoughts..." It quickly conveyed that "oh no" feeling, and you knew Sadie was feeling hurt and maybe a little envious.

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  3. Hi Madelieine - I have an award for you on my blog! Please stop by.

    Jennifer Young (Castles in the Sky)
    http://jennyleeyoung.blogspot.com/

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  4. An office lothario will always come undone in the end. Poor Sadie...poo Ben!

    Lovely writing, Madeleine.

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  5. Oh..oh... you are caught Ben!

    It is painful isn't it to find that you are not that special after all. Boo to guys like Ben.

    Nice to meet you at RFW ~

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  6. Remembering the old days when everyone used to smoke after sex...LOL! Nicely done.

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  7. Hi,

    Ben the cad... Nice one Sadie! A metaphorical slap in the face! ;)

    Great little cameo.

    best
    F

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  8. Elaine’s laugh ripped through her thoughts as if her very heart had been torn from its valves

    I love those words. Brilliant tale.

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  9. Poor Sadie...she's the laughing stock of everyone.
    Ben is indeed a cad!

    Nice one.

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  10. Office romances never work, so I'm told. Poor Sadie and in time, Elaine and Angela!

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  11. I feel her pain - but she's better off without him!

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  12. Great story I loved the budding flower and nectar part great description.

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  13. Finally, smoking put to good use! The tip-off of clothes smelling of smoke being a dead give-away.

    Been there, felt that. Thanks for taking me there again, this was very well done.

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  14. Indeed, avoid office romances. I saw this thing on TV about a smoking baby. Supposedly it's all over the internets.

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  15. I so admire writers who can write short fiction. I do it once in awhile but mostly I am a poet. Thanks for stopping by. You have a great blog as I remembered. I will be back.


    Melanie

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  16. Wonderful and sad tale Madeleine. Office romances should be avoided.

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  17. Hi Madeleine

    You caught the feeling of hurting love so well ... Ben better watch out - hell hath no fury like a woman.
    umm, scorned. ;)

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  18. Hi Madeleine - great build up of Sadie's lack of care of Ben .. but he too could be a selfish 'chap' .. office politics .. and that pong of smoke - foul!

    Great story lines in there .. the whole I'm sure is really involving .. Hilary

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  19. Thanks for the award Jennifer

    Thanks EVERYONE for your lovely comments.

    Andy, I'd hope the others in the office would be appalled and sorry for Sadie and Elaine rather than laugh at them for being victims of a serial seducer.

    Hilary, your comment was interesting, as the piece was intended to show how Ben was a chameleon stalker who had conquests and then dumped the women for his next victim rather than that the woman was neglecting her man. It is difficult in only 400 words to really spell it out, but by becoming a smoker etc. he had changed his personality to suit the woman he was targeting. I actually knew someone like this where I worked. :O)

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  20. Hi Madeleine .. I realised that .. but from this extract - it seemed that Sadie wasn't giving him enough attention .. yea he may be serial S**t .. but just she seems into her own world and wasn't considering 'others' ..

    I was taking it in isolation .. and as you say only 400 & ONE .. isn't very long ..

    Sun here at last!! Cheers Hilary

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  21. Ah yes Hilary. I guess I was focusing on the heat and romance of the relationship before as she enjoyed it to show the contrast to the hurt and coldness of his eventual behaviour to her. :O)

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  22. I like it! I especially like that, while her sadness is clear, she's not a marshmallow and calls him out.

    Nice.

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  23. Great job on this. By referring to the smoke you are using another one of our senses. Sometimes we forget to do that. Two Thumbs Up!
    Nancy
    N. R. Williams, The Treasures of Carmelidrium

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  24. excellent story!
    i loved reading it..

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  25. Congratulations on being the featured author for this week. Great Story :)

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  26. Ben is slime. I think there's one in every big office with lots of women. That guy gets around. Great piece.

    PS I'm stopping by through the Hatefest.
    Happy weekend.

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  27. What a terrible moment, that realization. And what a jerk he is for not just coming clean.

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  28. Jerk, indeed. I love what you've done there, and I love how you've done both hate and love in one! It's a fine line, isn't it?

    Thanks for taking part!

    Tessa.x

    ps. do pop in next friday do see who won which book!

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  29. Office (serial) romance, and the hatred it provokes. Very deftly portrayed, Madeleine!

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  30. Thanks for sharing. My favorite part was probably the sinking feeling that I got as Sadie realized that Ben was more interested in Elaine now than she was in her.

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  31. Very well portrayed Madeleine :)

    I liked all the signs and clues and the way she noticed his wandering attention. poor darling.

    .......dhole

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  32. I really, really HATE cigarettes. and I kind of hate this Ben guy too! Great excerpt - and I'd want to see her moving on & finding someone way better.

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