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My Blog SCRIBBLE AND EDIT reflects my love of creative writing, design, literature and film. Check out my Poems & haiku, Romantic Flash Fiction; Blogfest Entries; Blog Awards and other prose and Flash Fiction. Do bear with me, as I will reciprocate with those genuine commenters on my blog.  BTW I sometimes withhold comments for challenges until later. Comments about the post are much appreciated. Thank you.
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Friday, 20 May 2011

Lost ~ Romantic Friday


My entry, a YA piece with teenage protagonist:
My heart sank down into the depths of my body when I saw Aiden coming towards me. His eyes were shining with a scary eagerness as he crushed into the chair beside me. His thick winter fleece and black wool hat made him look more like a hiker than a student.
“Hi Elise” he said, his deep voice filling the vast, virtually empty auditorium.
“Hi Aiden” I replied scanning the room for my friends and the gorgeous blonde-haired, blue eyed Jamie, who looked like an angel and read aloud in tutorials as if his voice were Heaven sent.
“Thought I was going to be late” Aiden boomed in my ear.
 “Looks like everyone else is late!” My nervous laugh sounded girlish and trilling.
Aiden grinned back. When my friends arrived they took one look at our ménage a deux and chose seats nearer the front to give us some privacy. With wide, frantic eyes I grimaced and beckoned to them that they should join me, but they seemed too engrossed in conversation.
“Look, Aiden. Do you mind if I join my friends, only I have some stuff I need to share with them.”
“Uh, no!” he replied his face momentarily blanched with disappointment.
I gathered up my things and bolted from the seat, sinking gratefully into the vacant chair beside Sally. She saw the relieved expression on my face and smiled sympathetically, turning around to gape once more at Aiden who shrank down into his jacket like a no-neck monster, studiously examining the white board. I shot Sally a warning glance. While I didn’t fancy Aiden I didn’t want to hurt him either. Then my attention was drawn to Jamie as he entered the room. He smiled in my direction making my heart flutter and sing. I smiled back with pure adoration shining in my eyes. Soon the auditorium had filled and Mr. Clarke’s lecture began: Chaucer’s Olde English
As class ended and everyone filed out I watched Jamie hurry through the door without looking my way. Disappointment clawed at my insides.
“Bye Elise” boomed Aiden beside me, as he hurried past.
My heart stretched with a strange horrified lurch. It was lovely being admired, but oh how I wished it was Jamie, instead. As Sally, Jenn and I filed out of the room I then remembered my gorgeous pink, woollen gloves.
“My gloves!” I shrieked and ran back into the room. Taking the steps two at a time I hurried up to where I had been sitting with Aiden.
“Lost something?” Patrick said as he stood, still packing his rucksack.
“Yes my pink wool gloves. Have you seen them”
“Yes Aide had them as he was leaving. Didn’t he give them to you?”
My cheeks flushed crimson. “Thanks” I said hastily, hurrying out to join my friends, my heart now hammering loudly in my ears. Aiden was no-where to be seen. An unsettled feeling lingered with me for the rest of the day.
Later that evening, at home when the doorbell rang, I answered. Aiden stood on the threshold brandishing my gloves.
“You forgot these” he beamed.
“Oh, thanks!” I laughed nervously, my mind screaming accusations at him and warnings to me.
“I have some magic to show you” he said taking out his phone and snapping my photo.
“That’s not magic!” I blurted, my face now several shades of red.
“It is to me” he said.
In my utter embarrassment I lost my manners and closed the door in his face; my insides squirming like chilli pepper snakes.  
© Madeleine Maddocks  May 2011

Oops sorry it's 590 words.

So who do you feel most sorry for?
Do you wince at the MC's immaturity or at the way Aiden behaved?