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My Blog SCRIBBLE AND EDIT reflects my love of creative writing, design, literature and film. Check out my Poems & haiku, Romantic Flash Fiction; Blogfest Entries; Blog Awards and other prose and Flash Fiction. Do bear with me, as I will reciprocate with those genuine commenters on my blog.  BTW I sometimes withhold comments for challenges until later. Comments about the post are much appreciated. Thank you.
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Friday, 5 November 2010

An Excerpt

Here's a piece that came to me on one of my walks. The sun was shining and the air was crisp and I discovered a new route through the fields in our village and this is what I wrote on my return home:

The Power of Tension Blogfest at Rachel Morgan writes

Take the quiz and report your findings over at Ellie's place to see if SFR genre (science fiction romance) is for you. It's planned as a YA, Sci Fi/ Post Apocalyptic novel.

30 comments:

  1. Madeleine u won in my contest isnt that cool? and guess what for now my nano heroine's name is madeleine I swear the resemblance stops there.

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  2. Hi Madeleine!

    Good hook to start with, I'm ready to read more!
    (I know it's first draft, but "it's shape" is probably superfluous? For some reason my attention got snagged up on it!! lol)

    But good job :D

    BTW what is a logline? (should I know?!)

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  3. In order to create a logline, we need to know what the story is about. Could you post a short blurb then we can condense it down to under 50 words.

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  4. Thanks Dominic, will certainly consider revising that bit.
    Hi Maria, As far as loglines go, it's all I have of the story at the mo'. I was just curious to see if anyone would let their imaginations take flight from this small snippet.I'm stil working on the rest, researching etc.

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  5. Jo How exciting, thanks for letting me know. :O)

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  6. Aha! Dictionary.com didn't know what a logline was, but I then saw your blogfest!
    So how about ...

    Hunted by the State, and separated from everyone she ever cared about, Rebecca is forced to seek refuge with the feared Insurrectionists. Finding herself caught up in a desperate conspiracy, she will have to risk everything if she is to prove her innocence, before she becomes guilty of even worse.

    This might perhaps show my leanings towards SF&F and my complete lack of knowledge about YA fiction :D (but it was fun anyway!)

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  7. Sounds good Dominic, I like it. Still mulling my own ideas over. Sorry today I have been typing with the beginnings of a migraine so my posts/comments may have seemed disjointed. Feeling better now tho'.

    Yes there's one sentence hooks, log lines and synopsis and they all seem similar and different :O)

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  8. Love this. I hope both of them make it to the river! ;)

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  9. I'm intrigued. I love post apocalyptic fiction and you know I'm a sci-fi gal. Can't wait to read more!

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  10. Tight, pulsating tension in this excerpt; nicely done.

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  11. Thanks Talei, Ellie and Milo.
    Ah ha, I have another idea for Gavin
    Glad the opening hits the spot. Just hope the rest does it justice, when I start writing it in earnest. Usually I just sit down and hammer something out.This time I'm researching and planning and plotting, so it doesn't run out of steam, as the others have done. :O)

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  12. Nice job, I loved it! :)

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  13. Great tension! I was left wondering if she'd get away from whoever was tracking the two. :D

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  14. A nice scene, with some good description. Perhaps even a fraction too much in places, since this sort of scene can sometimes benefit from a very direct touch.

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  15. I like your line about the cameo of a memory. Original and revealing. Great job.
    Edge of Your Seat Romance

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  16. That's cool. Having to cool herself down to hide her thermal readings is going to make it tricky. Very nice.

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  17. Yikes! What's a body to do? Wear an anti-heat suit?

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  18. I was feeling the tension in this one, very nice job.

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  19. You did a great job of creating a situation that it's hard to picture the characters escaping from. Whenever I do that, I end up writing myself into a corner because I can't think of a way to save my characters. :) The only line that seemed off was "hers too". I think you could delete that. Good luck!

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  20. Fabulous excerpt Madeleine - you've definitely got tension down pat here! I would definitely want to read on and find out a) how they got to this point and b) what's going to happen next. Great job!

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  21. I love the description of the helicopter. Very scary. And this is definitely packed full of tension. I'd want to read on!

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  22. You had great descriptions in there, especially with the parallels drawn between the thudding helicopter blades and her pounding heart. It was so sad when she thought of her mother's smile!

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  23. OMG, I want to know what in the world they did!? Good Job:)

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  24. Great job, Madeline! I wanted to read more! I especially liked the imagery of the blade's thud soundling like her heart - gorgeous!

    Hope your headache's better.

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  25. Hi, Madeleine,

    Great build up of tension. Your descriptive words added to it nicely.

    WELL DONE!

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  26. I like the frightened sheep image! Did Rebecca make it to the river?

    Thanks for entering :-)

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  27. Awww - poor Rebecca! I hope she makes it to the river. Go, girl, go!!! :-)

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  28. Nice piece - great tension! I hope Rebecca makes it to the river, and that Gavin will make it to safety too!

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  29. Run, Rebecca, Run! Great tension in this piece - and I love the name of your main character ;)

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  30. Very nice! Whether or not she gets to the river was a great tension builder!

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